Postponing ABC

I'm not following the ABC at the mo, but not in abad way. I haven't eaten since yesterday at 11am and I'm feeling nicely empty. This is in preparation for a party with sex and stuff tonight.

... Yeah I know I'm a litte whore, but I love it ;D judge me as you will.

So I'm not going to be blogging at all today because I'm almost sure I won't be home until tomorrow afternoon, and I just wanted to tell everyone so that you don't panic lol. (like you would anyway).

Sorry for not posting yesterday; I read everyone's blogs but when it came to updating my own I just really wasn't in the mood.

So I'm gonna have a good day today ;D also, the second time F comes to my house will be today, and guess what he's doing? Getting high with me, my mother and my auntie. That's one way to meet the family! God you have to love drugs.

Bye errbody :3

Cutting calories, cutting cocaine, and just plain cutting.

Today was horrible.

I ate two hotdogs.

TWO.

I'm so done with myself.

Urg.

And I've been limping all day, because there's a gash on my leg I have from Monday night that's finally starting to heal and the skin's so tight and it's so sore, and... and... argh.

The two hotdogs are the only things I've eaten today (no buns or sauces just the actual meaty thingies) and they bring my count up to 368. So no more food, except coffee and Diet Coke. Oh I don't know how I'd live without my coffee and coke.

Talking about coke: F is sorta kinda maybe addicted to it. Not the good coke, the bad coke. Like cocaine. The shit you shove up your nose. He's quitting though, he promised me. He's why I'm quitting the self-harming too. Well, trying anyway. The cocaine bothers me and the cutting bothers him, so we've promised to stop for eachother.

So I've got such an exiting life huh?

No more food, no more cutting.

300 calories

I've got 300 calories for the day. My friend doesn't want to finish her chips and shes trying to give them to me.
This is gonna be hard.
To stay under 300 calories today all I can eat is a fraction of whatever dinner my mother makes, so I've drank a SF energy drink with like 4 calories in it and chewed a shitload of gum.

...

Woohoo I got some followers and a comment and shit so I love you ok? :D Let's be friends.

Basically earlier in school my friend force-fed me a chocolate cupcake. Literally shoved it halfway down my throat. I love her and all but it was a miracle I didn't chop her into bits and set them on fire. Haha... haha... ha... yeah.

So I'm refusing to eat anything for the rest of the day because I have absolutely NO clue how many calories were in that cupcake. Could be 50, could be 350. So no more food. I can do this!

Hunger

My stomach's growling so loudly. In a silent room full of people.

... Stomach stfu you're not getting fed. You're not really as hungry as you think you are, so shut up before I slap you.

School

So far the day hasn't been great. There was a stupid fight yesterday over my friend S dying her hair the colour another girl apparently wanted to, so now this girl (J) is bitching about her, and me for sticking up for S.
Fuckin teenage drama, I want to scream sometimes.
Sitting in music, second class, it's 10:30am and I'm blogging on my phone because the teacher is an oblivious eejit haha.
So far today I've eaten nothing. My mam didn't make me lunch, she left money on the table for me but I just put it in a drawer because I don't want to buy binge food with it. I was going to bring an apple with me but I forgot. So looks like I'm fasting at least until dinner. Maybe I can get out of dinner too.
I will be skinny, I will be happy, and no-one is going to stop me.
... Obviously I have no internet at school so anything I write today will be posted at the same time when I get home. Don't explode or anything.