I'm not following the ABC at the mo, but not in abad way. I haven't eaten since yesterday at 11am and I'm feeling nicely empty. This is in preparation for a party with sex and stuff tonight.
... Yeah I know I'm a litte whore, but I love it ;D judge me as you will.
So I'm not going to be blogging at all today because I'm almost sure I won't be home until tomorrow afternoon, and I just wanted to tell everyone so that you don't panic lol. (like you would anyway).
Sorry for not posting yesterday; I read everyone's blogs but when it came to updating my own I just really wasn't in the mood.
So I'm gonna have a good day today ;D also, the second time F comes to my house will be today, and guess what he's doing? Getting high with me, my mother and my auntie. That's one way to meet the family! God you have to love drugs.
Bye errbody :3
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Saturday, 9 March 2013
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Cutting calories, cutting cocaine, and just plain cutting.
Today was horrible.
I ate two hotdogs.
TWO.
I'm so done with myself.
Urg.
And I've been limping all day, because there's a gash on my leg I have from Monday night that's finally starting to heal and the skin's so tight and it's so sore, and... and... argh.
The two hotdogs are the only things I've eaten today (no buns or sauces just the actual meaty thingies) and they bring my count up to 368. So no more food, except coffee and Diet Coke. Oh I don't know how I'd live without my coffee and coke.
Talking about coke: F is sorta kinda maybe addicted to it. Not the good coke, the bad coke. Like cocaine. The shit you shove up your nose. He's quitting though, he promised me. He's why I'm quitting the self-harming too. Well, trying anyway. The cocaine bothers me and the cutting bothers him, so we've promised to stop for eachother.
So I've got such an exiting life huh?
No more food, no more cutting.
I ate two hotdogs.
TWO.
I'm so done with myself.
Urg.
And I've been limping all day, because there's a gash on my leg I have from Monday night that's finally starting to heal and the skin's so tight and it's so sore, and... and... argh.
The two hotdogs are the only things I've eaten today (no buns or sauces just the actual meaty thingies) and they bring my count up to 368. So no more food, except coffee and Diet Coke. Oh I don't know how I'd live without my coffee and coke.
Talking about coke: F is sorta kinda maybe addicted to it. Not the good coke, the bad coke. Like cocaine. The shit you shove up your nose. He's quitting though, he promised me. He's why I'm quitting the self-harming too. Well, trying anyway. The cocaine bothers me and the cutting bothers him, so we've promised to stop for eachother.
So I've got such an exiting life huh?
No more food, no more cutting.
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
... So I'm not single anymore
Yup, Little Miss Fuck-Up has a new fucked up fuck buddy. Well actually he's my boyfriend but I thought that sounded better. Let's call him F.
So F and I were together a little less that a year ago. It ended badly. Basically he started flirting with one of my friends over facebook, she told me and I fucked him out of my life. I know, doesn't seem like a big deal, but seeing as I'm so emotionally fragile it really screwed with my head, because he was the best relationship I've been in by far, but he flirted with my friend.
My skinnier, prettier, less emotionally unstable friend.
You'd think I wouldn't let him anywhere near me after something like that, but seeing as from about September onwards we started talking again, and he realised what an asshole he was, he changed. I even told him every little secret I'd never told anyone before, and he still wanted to be with me. So I took him back. I'm going to be spending Friday night with him for 3 hours at this Youth Club thing I go to, and then me, my friend N and the guy she's with (who's one of F's best friends) are going into Dublin Town for the day to loiter and be teenagers and stuff.
Maybe smoke a few joints depending on how the day goes.
So yeah, I'm not single.
I feel kind of good about that. Maybe things are looking up.
So F and I were together a little less that a year ago. It ended badly. Basically he started flirting with one of my friends over facebook, she told me and I fucked him out of my life. I know, doesn't seem like a big deal, but seeing as I'm so emotionally fragile it really screwed with my head, because he was the best relationship I've been in by far, but he flirted with my friend.
My skinnier, prettier, less emotionally unstable friend.
You'd think I wouldn't let him anywhere near me after something like that, but seeing as from about September onwards we started talking again, and he realised what an asshole he was, he changed. I even told him every little secret I'd never told anyone before, and he still wanted to be with me. So I took him back. I'm going to be spending Friday night with him for 3 hours at this Youth Club thing I go to, and then me, my friend N and the guy she's with (who's one of F's best friends) are going into Dublin Town for the day to loiter and be teenagers and stuff.
Maybe smoke a few joints depending on how the day goes.
So yeah, I'm not single.
I feel kind of good about that. Maybe things are looking up.
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